Priscilla - Queen of the Peruvian Desert

Checking in once more (must embrace the internet when one encounters a computer where it works!!). What a day. Today, started early with some more sensational tunes on the bus. The top three for today: 1. Abba - Dancing Queen (as we drove through the Peruvian desert... all we needed was a drag queen on top of the bus and we´d have had our very own Priscilla moment.) 2. Celine Dion - My heart will go on (again, so fitting to play this as we cruise through the desert... with not a drop of rain in sight, let alone an iceberg.) 3. Chariots of Fire theme. Need I say more? I´m so impressed with the variety of music, I might make this a regular feature. Last night we hit the local bar and had a few drinks. Our driver ´Bananaman´is a serious Pisco drinker. He doesn´t drive the bus, he flies it. This morning we headed out to Huachina (spelling?) oasis. We gave Bananaman and Frítz´s girlfriends a lift there too. At the desert, we went dune buggying. Holy schmokes! Over dunes with an almost vertical drop for 70m. Was fantastic fun though. Once at the top of the dunes, we sandboarded down. Covered in sand but also a good laugh. After the dune buggying, we hung around the oasis... very pleasant. Went for a paddle boat ride. After noticing my lack of hat, the paddle boat boss came running over with a parasol. It had 8 holes in it... but the gesture was there, and appreciated. Went from there onto Nasca. Got back about an hour ago from a flight over the Nazca lines. Lucky me, it was a VERY windy day. My somewhat anxious state of mind wasn´t eased when our pilot had to jump out of the plane to go back and grab a map before blast off. He was very passionate about his lines in the ground, and whenever we got close to one, he would take BOTH OF HIS HANDS off the steering wheel to point etc. THEN, after briefly reconnecting with the steering wheel, he´d turn around to ask me if I was enjoying it, all the while the plane heading ever closer to one of the numerous mountains. Quite the experience. Fortunately, we landed in one piece. The same can´t be said for our friends in the next plane whose lunch came up in 50 pieces during the flight. Anyway, best be off... Thanks again for the emails. Loving it. PS: Just so you appreciate the efforts I´m going to to email... I´m currently sitting in a wheelchair at this internet place because it´s the only seat they have. Having a blast... awesome country! Looking forward to heading away from the desert tomorrow towards some green stuff though. Take it easy...

On the road again...

Buenos Tardes my little guinea pigs, I´m writing to you from (what I suspect to be) one of Peru´s least impressive towns - Pisco. It is the home of the Pisco Sour (what they think is a world famous drink, but in reality is only famous in this great country). Anyway, to fill you all in on the latest.

Well, Thursday I went for a tour of the Lima Catacombes. Much like all the other catacombes I´ve been to (yes, I´m a morbid chick)... ie. lots of bones. Thinking I might write this one off as a tax deduction given my current line of work. Also hit a few local restaurants and then headed out of Lima to the beachside town of Miraflores. This is like the Venice Beach of Peru. It seems that the pure bred cousins of all the mongrel dogs with fleas from downtown Lima live out in Miraflores. Went to a fancy restaurant out on a pier, where the waiters decided to try and rob us of 8 sol. But we would not be beaten! We stood our ground and got our 8 sol ($3.50) back - cheap tourists.

Got sick on the weekend, so had to pass on my trip to the bullfighting. Having seen photos, I´m glad I didn´t go. Vicious stuff that bullfighting!

I am now on a tour (3 weeks...eeek!) for the rest of Peru and Bolivia before being let loose on my own in Argentina and Chile. We met our guide yesterday... a genuine, fair dinkum local peruvian... who's first name is... wait for it... it's a classic.... FRITZ! Our driver´s name is Bananaman. God knows why and they don´t speak great english to tell us. Now, Fritz likes music while we travel... and he likes it loud. Now, we all know that I´m a massive music fan... but I almost died when he struck up the CD player this morning (day 1 of the tour!) Wait for it... out came an entire album worth of Boney M!!!! You´d love it Mum. After we´d sat through every Boney M song known to man, out came a new CD. We waited with baited breath and then......... A Very Boney Christmas (I may or may not have made that title up) but essentially it was Boney M does Xmas carols. My little heart broke at about the same point my ears closed up. We then asked what else he had... AND out came Roxette!! The look on our faces must have said it all... so it came off... and on came Bryan Adams - The Best Of. I just can´t wait until tomorrows tunes.

Today we did a cruise of the Ballestas Islands (birds and sea lions and serious waves). Now, I´m fairly good with over the top swells in boats (dad will back me up here), but schmokes. These guys only new one speed - seriousy flippin fast. Unfortunately, with swell that big and no roof on the boat... we copped a hiding on the way out. Fortunately, our quick thinking peruvian friends had a plan. Out came a tarp. Everyone had to hold on to a corner of the tarp and alas, we had a roof! We also had some serious petrol fumes keeping us company under the tarp. They told us to look out the back of the boat for dolphins. I think they were just trying to divert our attention from the now almost capsized boat.

Tomorrow, I´m heading out Nazca Lines and Huachachina Oasis for some sandboarding and dune buggying. Should be fun. Not sure when I´ll be able to check in again.

The streets of Lima

Had a good day today... went out and checked out Lima. Saw the Franciscan monastery and catacombes (my third catacombes visit! Paris, Rome and now Lima!) Strangely enough, a Peruvian femur looks pretty similar to a Parisian femur. Was really interesting to see the art in the monastery. They have a massive picture of the last supper Peruvian style. It´s gorgeous but incredibly funny at the same time. I particularly liked the main dish sitting in the middle of the table.... CUY on a plate. That´s right, Jesus and the twelve disciples were sharing a guinea pig for their last supper. Loved it!

After that, we went to see the changing of the guard at the government building in the main plaza (plaza de armas). Very colourful. The amusing part was that there was a half hour band playing, marching extravaganza... but we didn´t catch any guard changing going on. We figured we missed it in amongst all the marching but alas, once the crowd disbanded, these two soldiers casually wander out the front door and swap spots with the other guards. Go figure!

After that, we went for a long walk through Lima. It´s funny walking through the different districts, you can easily tell where you are. Eg. the shoe district, the printing district, the religious paraphenalia district, the biscuit district, the red light district etc. Mangey looking dogs take over ALL districts. They´re a little unpredictable and start chasing randoms (maybe bad karma coming back to visit local Limenos). Would be curious to figure out if any are rabid. Either they are, or they´ve been sucking on the cocoa leaves too.

Inca's and Thinkers...

Check-in numero uno (that may or may not be spanish). Well, in breaking news... I have indeed survived the brain numbing 40 hour journey to Lima. According to a cute little Columbian boy on the flight, this is quite an achievement in itself. To quote the conversation:

Aussies: We´re going to Peru.

Kid: I hate Peru.

Aussies: Why?

Kid: There´s crazy people there.

Aussies: Because they rob you?

Kid: No, because they kill you.

So, conquered .... Bris-Syd-Auckland-Santiago-Lima. Bris to Auckland fairly uneventful. Auckland to Santiago a very painful journey. Inflight entertainment was a cracker. The éntertainment system for the lady beside me broke and got stuck on The Devil wears Prada for the entire flight. Needless to say, she went crazy and had to be locked in the toilets for the bulk of the trip. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the soothing sounds of Natacia Perez (I may or may not have made that name up) who sang all the greatest Beatle tunes Bossa Nova style. I´ve heard everything.

Another amusing fact: the entire plane launched in to the worlds longest applause when we landed safely in Lima.

Must be an unusual occurence. THEN, after killing 7 hours in Santiago airport (with two other solo travelling Aussies - David and Lauren), we boarded our flight for Lima. After settling in comfortably amongst 300 of our closest Peruvian friends... we waited for 20 minutes. Then a spanish speaking announcement came over... then all of a sudden, everyone was up out of their seats and looked rather unhappy. An american guy spotted our three little confused faces and came over and explained that the plane was suffering with some éngine issues and we were going to sit on the plane for another half an hour while the local engineers attempted to fix it. NOW, if it were Qantas engineers fixing the problem, I´d have felt a little better. But the (presumably) cocoa leave sucking engineers of Santiago didn´t instill great confidence.

Fortunately, an hour later we were all sent packing off the plane. Our newly found American friend came over and had a chat with us. He proceeded to tell me ´Be incredibly careful in Lima. If held up at knifepoint, hand it over. Everything. Don´t get in a taxi unless it´s an official taxi. Make certain it´s an official taxi otherwise, you´ll be robbed at the very least. Don´t even consider carrying your pack unless on the front you, they´ll slash it. Be careful... strangle robberies are the robbing tactic of the month. You should survive it, but you´ll be left with nothing´ etc. Was very reassuring as we taxied out on our new (and functioning!) plane.

Arrived at Lima Airport at the grand old hour of 1am (such a delightful time of day in Lima). Cleared Immmigration without problems but then had my first encounter with the hit and miss tactics of South American customs. Over here, they don´t check everyone´s stuff... they just line you up and you walk past these little checkpoints and hit a button. If you hit the button and you get a green light, you´re good to keep moving (and they just assume that you told the truth on your customs card). If you get a red light, you have to go and have your bag searched to check that you were telling the truth on your card. So, we line up. Lauren goes through and bang, red light. David goes through, green light. Then I´m next in line... (oh, the suspense!)... and the guy says to me in broken engrish ´don´t hit the button, just go´... so in my wisdom, I decide I´ll hit the button anyway. As my little hand reaches for the button he grabs me and says ´Í told you NOT to hit the button. Just go straight through´So I did as the kind man said. No customs for me.

Arrive in this little room (clear glass) and search outside for a little card with my name on it. After perusing the other 250 signs and not seeing my name, I finally manage to spot it. I say a couple of quick goodbyes to my newly found friends and I´m out there. The guy looked as excited to see me as I was to see him. Struggled through the crowd... guarding my bags with my life. Fortunately, he was also picking up a couple of other aussies so off we all went. Getting in the car, he suggested that everything go in the boot (apparently it´s not uncommon for people to smash your windows and rob you as you´re driving (errr, stopped I guess?) and the less we had with us in the backseat the better. Anyway, we get in, he locks us in and off we go. My god, the number of people just hovering on the streets (and dogs) too, at 2am is astounding. Red lights are optional. I think it´s preferable not to stop the car in the bad parts of Lima (although, having driven through the city for 45 minutes, I have no idea how you would distinguish the good parts from the bad parts.) It all looks fairly similar to me.

Anyway, pulled up in a shoddy laneway and there it is... The Hotel. My room is nice... although the bathroom reminds me a lot of the Jail Cell I stayed in in Austria (ahh, Fliss... the memories!!) That is, there is no window in the bathroom. Actually, there is a window... but it´s actually just a hole that leads out onto some kind of alleyway (it´s OK mum, I´m on the fourth floor)... but I shut the bathroom door anyway in case any rats decided to come in and keep me company overnight. Safety here isn´t bad. There´s a big tough man who stands at the door all day death staring any would be thieves. Oddly enough, the hotel here which boasts hot water 24/7... has failed to deliver on the promise. I´ve had two showers, both cold. I´m feeling very South American after that experience. Anyway, enough of the detailed Jibberish. I´m exhausted after my 38 hour long experience of the 22nd November. Yes, everytime we thought we were leaving behind the 22nd, we moved on to a new timezone and suffered through more of the 22nd all over again. Take care guys, lots of love (from me and the 5000 friends honking the horns on their car/motorbike looking things outside!)